Mr. Granite Is from Another Planet! by Dan Gutman

Author:Dan Gutman
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780061973529
Publisher: HarperCollins

“Man!” I said. “How many songs do you think will fit on that iPod?”

“It’s not an iPod, dumbheads,” said Andrea. “It’s one of those big storage boxes. It says PODS.”

Oh.

It made sense that Mr. Granite lived in a pod. I saw this movie called Invasion of the Body Snatchers. It had these pod people who look just like humans. But they worked secretly to spread more pods until they could replace the entire human race. It was cool. “Anybody who lives in a pod has to be an alien,” I said.

“My mom says we should accept people no matter where they live,” Emily said.

“Your mom is weird,” I told her.

“Maybe he’s building a transmitter in there to contact his home planet,” said Ryan. “Like in E.T.”

“Give it a rest with E.T., will you?” I told Ryan.

Mr. Granite opened a door and went inside the pod thing. We all snuck up to it, like we were secret agents. It was cool. Andrea took a little camera out of her backpack.

“I’ll bet he’s taking off his human mask in there,” Michael whispered.

“I’ll snap the picture when he peels off his face,” Andrea whispered.

“That will be a real Kodak moment,” I whispered.

“I’m scared!” whispered Emily. “Maybe we should—”

But she never got the chance to finish her sentence. Because at that very second, Mr. Granite popped out of the pod!

“EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKK!” we all screamed.

“G’day, mates!” Mr. Granite said. He looked completely normal. “What can I do for you blokes?”

“Uh,” I said, “we were just wondering if you trim your nose hair.”

“You followed me home to ask if I trim my nose hair?” asked Mr. Granite.

“Well, actually, we wanted to know where you were born,” said Andrea.

“I came from Neptune,” said Mr. Granite.

“WOW,” we all said, which is “MOM” upside down. So it was true! Mr. Granite really IS from another planet!

“Yes,” he continued, “Neptune, New Jersey. Then my parents moved to Australia.”

Oh.

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